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One of the biggest parts of our development as a medium is to learn how to work with the 'No.' The difference between an average medium and a good medium is that the latter can correct what they have misunderstood so that they can continue to follow the communicator as they share with the medium an aspect of their life story.

Why We Need to work with the ‘No’

To surrender, the medium must allow the spirit person to lead the communication. The medium simply must follow the journey the spirit person takes them on during the contact. To maintain that state of surrender, therefore, the medium needs to understand each aspect of their experience so they can continue to follow the spirit person. For if they don’t, the medium will take control of the communication itself, which will affect their ability to blend with the spirit communicator and express what it is the spirit person needs to share with their loved one.

Often when a student of mediumship hears the word ‘No’, it affects their confidence, and creates a tension within their expression that can cause them to begin to doubt what they are becoming aware of. If the medium has not learnt how to deal with the ‘No’ and simply ignores it, or just moves on to another subject, this will have wider implications on the communication, as the medium will now be forcing the communication in a different direction to what the spirit person intends.

Why Can A ‘No’ Occur

It is often thought that when a 'No' occurs within a communication it is because the medium has misunderstood their mediumistic experience. Although this is one reason why a 'No' may occur, it is only one reason amongst many.

Instead, students of mediumship should consider a ‘No’ to be an indicator that something has changed within the communication that the medium has not been aware of within that moment of their experience. For instance, the ‘No’ may occur due to the introduction of a new spirit person in the communication, which the medium hasn’t quite been aware of; it may be that the medium is with the wrong person within the audience, if they are delivering a demonstration of mediumship, but the evidence itself is correct; or it could be, if the medium is conducting a private sitting, that they have naturally moved to the psychic level, but still believe they are working with a spirit communicator.

How to Develop Working with the Nos.

The first thing a student of mediumship must do is understand the nature of mediumistic experience itself so that they can develop the right habits within their expression that will allow them to work naturally with the ‘No.’ The medium must also be aware of, and experience, the different reasons that can cause a ‘No’ to occur in the first place, so that it can be corrected.

When the student-medium has misunderstood their experience, it is often the way they approach working with the ‘No’ that causes them difficulty: they try and hold on to the experience and ‘feel into it’ to understand what it means. By holding on to the experience, so that they continue to be conscious of it in their mind, the medium stops working with their sensitivity, and stops allowing the experience to unfold naturally, which usually causes them to start to guess as to what their experience was originally trying to convey, rather than experiencing it through the blending of the two souls (the medium’s and the spirit person’s).

Furthermore, as the medium’s mind may not be open to the dozen or more reasons as to why a ‘No’ may occur, they may just assume it is because they have misunderstood their experience. Quite often, therefore, the medium is trying to correct evidence that is already correct and never successfully acknowledge what has caused the ‘No’ to occur.

Receiving robust training around the subject of working with the ‘No’ is so important to the development of good mediumship. But equally, the student must be willing to consistently apply that teaching within every communication.

When learning how to correct those experiences that we have misunderstood, or how to recognise what has changed within the communication causing the ‘No’ to occur, the student-medium is going to make mistakes: trying to turn the ‘No’ into a ‘Yes’ will, at first, create more ‘Nos.’ It is this struggle that often dissuades students from mastering this aspect of their mediumship. Instead, they try to develop ways to work around the ‘No’, rather than dealing with it head on.

There are no shortcuts to first-class mediumship, and any type of ‘workaround’ will not allow the medium to fully achieve their potential: unless they correct their errors, or identify what has changed within their communication, the medium will not be able to continue to surrender and follow their spirit communicator. The result will be that what the Spirit person intends to say to their loved one will not have been fully expressed by the medium, and as a result the medium will not have fully served the need of the spirit person.

The way to become adept at working with a ‘No’, therefore, is by attempting to turn the ‘No’ into a ‘Yes’ within every communication. In essence, by consistently applying the teaching in every communication, the medium will, by small degrees, start to develop the right habits and approach to correct their errors, and become increasing more open to the wide number of factors that can cause the ‘No’ to occur.

As students of mediumship, therefore, we should be patient with ourselves and allow our mediumship to unfold and change at its own pace. Rather than being fixated on how well an exercise has gone, we should focus on what we have learnt from the experience, and how this can inform our understanding of our own mediumship. By doing so, the mediumship will change, quite naturally, by itself, and improvements will then be noticed within our mediumistic expression.


If you are interested in developing your ability to work with the 'No' within your mediumistic communications, I am offering a 5-week online course on the subject, which starts on 31 January 2023.

For more details please click on the image below


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